Why Do We Resist Therapy? Session 2 of 3

It’s been a wild week of work and play. As we speak looking at the 4th quarter of 2016 we are running almost around the clock at 7 days a week. Thanks for taking the time to catch up on our conversation….Enjoy!……….

Keven: When do you get time to educate yourself Teri?

Teri: Ha Ha…I wait until the kids are in school. I feel like with the kids, the weekend goes so fast then it’s Monday! I guess I am learning from others as well. I have time to read websites and article though.

 Keven: Do you use Facebook as a way to educate yourself?

Teri: Yeah. Sometimes. I can read an article or share it. Therapy is one of those services that we have to be entirely open to listening. I can come to the table with everything but that doesn’t mean the things I have will help my client. I sell a service of self-care and a non-judgmental ear to bounce off ideas, throw in opinions or researching about what they’re going through.

 Keven: Connecting the dots?

Teri: Yeah whatever those dots might be. Sometimes we are building what is happening as they are saying it and as we are going through it. We have to get into the elevator shaft with them and figure out how far they can go? Are we going to low with things? We never know really so we have to calibrate that as well. We have to be cautiously aware and always connect with the client and the client has to connect with us as well. You can generally tell if, you pay attention, if the person you are speaking to wants to go there.

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Keven: How much of your clients communication is non-verbal?

Teri: 50% of the room is nonverbal. That is why Skype is hard. I can’t see their body it’s not ideal. Fist quenching or quivering. Sadness comes up as they are saying something but their body is saying some thing else. Like they may not be realizing they just made a fist when they are talking about their parents. That’s important during communication to watch that with others.

Keven: What are your thoughts on ideas and what it can do like a seed? How do you try to leave the client?

Teri: Any minute in the session if we plant an idea or a seed I trust that it is just going to sit there. I usually don’t revisit it unless there is something really fruitful there. They may not be ready for it. The mind is a powerful thing and they will take it where they want it. We always want them to walk away and leave feeling comfortable. Feeling like they are O.K. That is important for anyone to do that even outside of therapy.

We need to make sure we are zipped up so we don’t immediately show the world where we are most vulnerable.

Keven: So what you are saying is, we have our normal lives, we do our normal things but yet when there are clients that go see a therapist it’s important for them to “zip up” and have some closure?

Teri: Yeah it’s important whether it’s in therapy or not. Like if you are having a fight with your significant other and then you have to “zip it up” to go get the kids from school, it’s the same thing. We have to learn how to not be in denial, not forget about it, but know that we can hold that somewhere and still keep doing life.

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Keven: Without there being closure to it?

Teri: Yeah! Right! Then come back to it. So it’s not sweeping it under the rug, it’s not saying “oh we forgot about that.” If that is happening then someone has to be the one that pulls this back out and says “Hey we need to get some closure here, lets talk.”

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you found it fruitful. Stay Tuned for Sessions 3 of 3 in the coming weeks, where we get into the discussion about Social Platforms and Technology.

To contact me go to www.hosbusinesscenter.com and click the contact page

 To contact Teri Sorkin M.A. MFT for a trial session go to http://terisorkin.com

Your Love.

 

Often times in life we become severely imbalanced with our significant other. Whether that is in the relationship or the current professions, raising the children or having friends. Whatever the situation, know that it takes work to stay connected and not feel disjointed.

You both may not see it as this way and it may take some quiet conversation to combine your love together to make it work. Either way, understand if you don’t pay attention there will be a falling out cause and effect. I believe the same story can be told with almost all things in life. #ideatolaunchin366days

The Creation of Neon Owl

Written by K. Hempel 

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Elaine Huang (Neon Owl)

Early in 2013 I met Elaine. Spunky, smiled a lot, had a rather worldly perspective and a sense of bravado…(I mean brave not arrogance.) From our first conversation there was something interesting about her, it was as if she was constantly thinking about the next step, her next action and where she was going. She introduced herself to me as soon as I walked into the room. With a huge smile she comforted but controlled the room. It is exciting, knowing what I know now. It was fate that connected us to be in the same room, at the same conference, feeling the same way…. There was something more. We had a great conversation that night and made plans to meet up and discuss business.

It took us over 7 months to finally set that meeting.

Looking back now I realized it was that meeting that put the wheels in motion to change our lives forever. We began working together in 2014 and quickly got off to a straight sprint on changing our mindset and truly following our passion and what we believe of this life. At first we would meet weekly and keep in touch. It seems now that was life’s natural way of getting us to understand each other at a rapid speed as life somehow knew we could not afford the option of “taking it slow.” As the year progressed we grew to be great friends as well as great working professionals. She had a lot to learn, but I quickly took to letting her know my crazy concepts and off the wall (sometime brash) thinking.

To My Surprise:

She accepted my process and seemed to find her way as well to achieve her dreams. I can say we were both going through a life change that was exciting. We each had our dreams, goals and storyboards that we were not going to ever let go of. But working together carved a piece out of the universe that aligned us to progressively and quickly reach our goals.

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Elaine Rocking The Headphones

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am constantly impressed by the way she seems to “just do it.” Like I said before, it’s as if she knows exactly what she wants and she is going to grab it, strong arm it and pave her road ahead.  As I write she is counting down now to the huge kick off of her next adventure she creatively calls Neon Owl. With the colorful logo of a spiritual owl that symbolizes the real meaning of someones state of mind and strong intuition she plans on taking over the EDM scene with the help of her growing community, spreading the little things that create movements and change the world….belief, acceptance and passion. I got a chance to hear her story so here it is, enjoy!

Spunky Elaine has blossomed into a ferocious Passioneer, a true innovator and leader! The Creation of Neon Owl.

“I‘ve always loved music, but never knew that I could do anything with it.” Elaine Huang  

I’ve never been musically talented. Ever since I was young, I’ve always listened to all sorts of music. I started listening to the Chinese music my parents listened to. Later on in elementary and middle school, it was a lot of Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Juvenile, and Lil Wayne. In middle school and high school, Eminem got me through some tough times. It was my escape. I would put on my headphones and my blue Sony CD player and have certain songs on repeat. It helped me channel a lot of anger and negative energy and it allowed me to transcribe them onto paper.raver

I actually wrote a lot as a kid, and even do now, often times that’s inspired or accompanied by music. Back then I would imagine myself in a different place and time and in a way it motivated me to get out of a certain situation, or strive to work towards a better future. It may be a little hard to picture me today being that girl, but I had a lot of resentment and anger when I was younger. I remember having a screen name “Eminemgurl” because he really did get me through a dark period of my life, and I still love his music and get inspired by it today. Somewhere along the line, whether it was my experiences, circumstances or mentality shift, it combined itself with music and my attitude shaped into a positive and motivating one.

Inspiration:

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Elaine and Raymond from Neon Owl

My brother had always listened to a lot of electronic music, (back then it was considered to be trance or techno.) I didn’t start listening to a ton of that until a little bit later on in life. But the thing I really love about electronic music is that for the most part, it brings out a lot of positivity usually without too many words. It’s able to bring out a lot of different emotions. It’s able to make you cry. Make you smile. Get you pumped. Often times it takes me on a journey. That’s pretty powerful for something without very many lyrics. I’ve always liked it, but the moment that I absolutely fell in love with it and it really took over my life was the first time I experienced EDC.

I’ve experienced everything from pop, indie, to country concerts. This was something totally different. People there were carefree. They were bold, friendly, caring, loving, expressive, weird, and everything in between. It was as if all the cliques in high school from the popular kids and nerds to the outcasts all came together to the same place, and you couldn’t tell who was who, and nobody cared!

Everyone looked different, dressed different, tall, short, fat, skinny, none of that mattered. It was like this magical place that everyone co-existed in from different backgrounds, made whatever amount of money back home, had any occupation, looked however they looked, and still were respected and treated equally.

Everyone gave hugs, traded kandi, talked to one another, offered shoulder rides, and was just kind to one another. “That’s when I totally fell in love with the scene, and the music even more.” There’s not a ton of music out there that creates this type of environment. For those that don’t understand it and refuse to experience it, I’ve always highly encouraged them to try it at least once. For those who assume it’s all about the drugs, it’s not true.

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EDC Circuit Grounds

If you kept an open mind to actually experience something like that, you’d realize that it’s really about the music, good vibes, peace, love, unity, and respect. It’s kind of emotional just thinking about it, but I wished that people treated each other like that a little more in everyday life.

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Neon Owl with SF Artist Helice Wen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For a lot of people, music and festivals are an escape. But it shouldn’t be that way. Festivals should be an experience, a great one, a reunion with old friends and a time to make new ones. But there’s no reason why we shouldn’t live everyday as if we’re at a festival. “Be bold, non-judgmental, caring, loving, giving, open, and free.” I think that’s what makes me to fall in love over and over again with electronic music, and the culture that it embodies.

I’ve always loved music, but was never musically talented.

So I never really gave pursuing something in the music industry a second thought. I’ve always been interested in people. I always strive to be the boldest version of myself, and inspire others to do the same. I’ve always wanted to help people, in ways big or small, and always thought that it was bullshit when people would tell me they’d help people “one day” when they’ve made it.

I believe that being the best version of you is to always be kind, whether that’s at a festival, on the street, or in everyday life. I believe that it’s being true to yourself, your passions, and your values. It’s constantly learning, growing, and challenging yourself. “It’s not being afraid to take risks.”

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Neon Owl Love with the Community in San Francisco CA 2015

The Community

Neon Owl is a community that connects people through music, passion, and giving back. We promote up and coming artists along with already established artists. We share good music and generate content with a refreshing twist. We do this with no drama and no gossip. We share the music while getting to know artists better as people, beyond just the art. It’s a place they come to share their stories, their struggle and challenges, and how they overcame them. Hopefully that inspires their fans and others to keep pursuing their dreams and their passions, or to take that first leap of faith.

Without risk, there are no rewards.

Once again, I’d love for music too not only “be” an escape, but an enhancement in life. “A motivating factor.” There’s too much content nowadays that’s just consumed to pass time, or for entertainment purposes. While that’s all fine and dandy, I’d love to bring a positive take into this. Artists are celebrities and role models, whether they think or not.

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Elaine from Neon Owl with Andrew Rayel

A lot of DJs and producers are still in between that realm of “Am I a celebrity? Do people want to hear my story?” Usually their stories aren’t told unless they’ve really made it and become big. But it’s important! It’s not easy pursuing a career in music. People really relate to chasing dreams, sacrifices, challenges, and truly following your passions. As much as music can help impact someone’s life in a positive way, so can a story.

Right now we work with different charities. We’re small, so our reach is only so big, but that will never stop us from giving now. Of course we’d love to have a bigger reach, bigger audience, and more people spreading awareness along with the message. We’d love to reach more artists, spread the message at more events, and have a presence everywhere! Ultimately, we’d love to partner up with artists and fans to throw big charity events. Down the line, we’d even want to start our own charities.

So we would appreciate your help to spread the Neon Owl message, share the Neon Owl brand, and expand the community together. If it’s a shirt you want to rock, a donation you want to make, an interview you want to share, or just telling people about Neon Owl and what we are about, every bit counts. No action is ever too small for a good cause!

Honestly, this was just an idea that I came up with when I woke up one day. I was at a good job, making great money, and enjoying what I did. But I asked myself “What my true purpose was in life?” and “What my true passions were? I was able to answer with “music, people, adventure, experiences, and helping others.” Then I just packaged all of that into one, hence the birth of Neon Owl.

 

“It’s just a crazy, yet simple idea. It’s nothing you can touch but it’s something you can feel. I feel it, and people probably think I’m crazy. If I can inspire one person to feel the same and act upon that, then that’s one person’s life changed or made better. I’d love for people to connect with what I feel, and what music embodies, and use it to become a better version of themselves and then use that to help make this world a better place. It’s not always about the biggest significance or the biggest change. Sometimes change starts small, but I believe in the domino effect and the law of attraction. So I guess I’m a little crazy, but I believe that through music we can change the world.”

It might sound too good to be true, or too much like a dream. But when has it taken anything less than a crazy dream to make something extraordinary happen?

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Elaine in the Bay Area enjoying some tunes and the world

That is it. That is Elaine and Neon Owl. That is everything that I have come to know of her, passionate, successful and a real believer of dreams coming true. It’s only been a couple years now since we have known each other and we are now moving in entirely different directions, but I know somewhere in the future our paths will cross, maybe standing on the stage of stardom or sulking in the tears of our sorrow, but wherever this adventure we call life takes us, I know I will be able to reach out for her inspiration and strength for support when needed. Thanks for the good times Elaine!

To the ones reading this go out and find your passion, live life, be you, be respectful and make sure you do it with love. #Youbetterbeliving. Drop the Armin beat!

If you’d like to find out more please visit the Neon Owl site to watch videos of artist interviews, as well as purchase swag for a good cause and support the community.

What I Learned By Playing Pictionary With Millennials

On Easter Sunday my family and I ventured out and went to a party at a friends house. A good time was held by all, there was great food, great drinks and some pretty awesome dessert. Our adventure could have stopped there but we decided to break out the board games. What a way to end a weekend right? Sitting around the table playing pictionary!

“Though the game was fierce and my team won, (which I was super excited about) I was very intrigued by the interaction of all the other team members.”

There was an age range of players from 7 years old to 50 something….while we were playing I was thinking to myself, “what else can you do in life that holds the attention of a 7 yr old, 18 yr, 27 yr old, 30 yr olds and a couple 40/50 something’s? Really? Nothing.

Usually when there are those types of ages together we are bickering about getting dressed, or going to work, or fighting over money/business and maybe for the twenty year olds the parents are nagging about what their kids are going to do with their life. Not this night though. This night was filled with laughter and amazing memories. When it wasn’t my turn I looked around the table and seen smiles on everyone’s face. The way life should be. I wish every Sunday could end with the tv off and a fun board game with family and friends.

“I woke up this morning with a list of things I learned while playing the game and thought I could share it with the world so here it is:”

  1. drawing stick figures crosses ageless boundries
  2. everyone wants to win
  3. don’t make directions to hard, if they are, nobody reads them, they just roll the dice and make up their own rules.
  4. real life problems should get solved with a quick rock, paper, scissors match….leave the hard decisions to chance.
  5. people 12 to 33 are on snapchat and are super burnt out by facebook…(so uncool)
  6.  laughter makes everything better.
  7. The younger ones have an awesome appetite for competition and a mean poker face
  8. 20 somethings want to start business’s but don’t know where to turn and think they have no options.
  9. my wife and I can still be cool when we are 50 because we have good mentors showing us how to have fun, even when it hurts to wake up the next morning.
  10. and last but not least there’s always time for family bonding.

ok so I decided, every Sunday for the next month I will make a great attempt to put together a family game night so we can make memories that our kids, my wife and I will cherish forever. Do you want to join in? Our door is always open!

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The Great Race

Often times I feel like we are in a race. A race against ourselves, a race against time a race against life, a race to raise our children and a race to spend the rest of our lives together always looking at the next phase or the next step and goal.

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Every time I feel this way I take a moment to do some introspective thinking. We get together and I ask jenny, how did this happen? How are we here? Are we doing the right thing? Are we going the right direction? Are we screwing up our girls?

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The answer sometimes is an easy no this is wrong. We say no with confidence and so we make a change. The yes is where I get concerned. When yes is too easy and confident I have to wonder if our thinking about a situation is too linear. I go into risk mitigation mode.

What could happen? I would love to say we are the only ones that go through the feelings but I know we are not. We often times have conversation with others about how crazy life is and how we are at a new imageadventure and we don’t know really what’s going to happen. Do we zig right or zag left? Do we take that job or not? Do we just succumb to the end or fight to continue?

What you must remember is none of life has an easy answer. This is all new. There is no way for you to be living and it not be a new day everyday. A new situation, a new problem, a new answer. That’s a part of life. That’s why I think it often times feels like a race because no matter how much you want something to stop, it doesn’t, it can’t and it won’t. So we find ways to adapt to them. We have the ability to change their positions slightly but mostly it’s adaption to our new scenarios.

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What we have learned is ……..that’s ok. We want you to know, it is ok. Making the wrong choice is ok. Making the right choice is ok and letting faith choose is ok as well. Either way don’t let the choice freeze you in your tracks while the rest of life passes you by. Don’t let the choice paralyze you and keep you from spending valuable pressure time with your kids. Just do it and see where you end up it won’t be that bad. We promise. -K