The Pressure Our Children Feel

When I was a kid I was told I was going to be gay. Why? Because I walked on my toes, had a stuttering issue and chose to be friends with the girls in my class (as opposed to boys.) I guess looking back now I’ve always had more of a connection with sensitivity and empathy as opposed to the masculinity boys/men are supposed to have. I grew up playing baseball and was in a band but could most of the time care less about sports.

In my twenties, I enjoyed watching the NFL and occasionally going to an MLB game not because I really cared about the sport but more so because of the experience. Over the past several years I haven’t actively watched sports games other than the big Super Bowl or World Series. To be honest I care more about the food and drinks and family than I do about the game. I used to wonder why I didn’t tend to connect well with the men in my life then I discovered myself at age 30 with two girls and a wife that didn’t need me to be a “MAN” they needed me to be their dad, father, husband. They needed me to a human that they could connect with, tell a story to, share a hug with, someone who could and would communicate love and caring for them. This to me is what it means to be not just a man but also a positive influence in their world.

This is what is missing in our children’s lives today, a connection; it’s not the only thing but a big part. The chance for them to connect and be who they want to be and express what they want to express, without negative criticism from others is important. Sometimes their ideas or feelings come out before they are entirely ready like an egg waiting to hatch and it takes others points of view to allow it to come into clarity. We as parents and community leaders should be there for that clarity. There is a difference however between constructive criticism and negativity.

When I was younger, I received my fair share of verbal abuse some of which I continue to battle with every day. Somewhere between the “gay” comments and the “are you stupid?” arose a burning desire to care for others, which I entirely appreciate. In life, it’s almost as if we learn more from others about what not to do as opposed to what we should do. Since I’m not a psychologist or therapist I have no clue on why we do what we do but based on our past experiences. When it comes to this subject I can only state what I went through. Because of this, we choose to raise our children with constructive words and lessons as best as possible. We are not perfect and do falter some days but we also know everyone does. That is the part about being human, forgiveness and loving others, as long as you continue to love and spread your light and inner genius the universe has a way of working itself out.

I met Ashanti last year and he is one impressive dude. If you have children or work with them take some time to watch this movie, it will give you some perspectives on students and children today. The Mask You Live In

Girls: We love you. Mom and dad. #DigitalLegacy

The Sunday Reality

I appreciate, love, and thank the people who have inspired and motivated me over the years, especially those that have helped our family. When I began this journey I had a vision unlike any other. Over the years this vision, goal, dream, success has formed and reformed itself several times over. Sometimes-in full focus but most of the time, very foggy and mirage like, being a father, husband, family member, business owner, teacher, a creator is never easy. Most of the times it’s scary as shit. Walking away from something that I was entirely comfortable doing when others are depending on me is crazy. Yet I did.

Sometimes we feel like we have to “act” strong or “play” fearless however that never leads us in the right direction. We tell ourselves “we know what to do”…most of the time. “We know what to say”…most of the time. “We know how to feel”…. most of the time.

Yeah right. We don’t. I don’t. Most of the time, I am searching for the courage to be authentic. Most of the time, I am negotiating between the line of safe and down right jumping off the cliff with no parachute and weights tied to my feet. I feel like those of you that know me, know which direction I would go …most of the time.

Then there’s being vulnerable.

This word HAS TO BE one of the most important words in the dictionary just behind empathetic. Vulnerability never comes easy. I’m talking the downright, stripped naked, running through the streets during rush hour traffic VULNERABILITY. The kind of vulnerable that builds a feeling of nausea in your belly, the gut wrenching, toes curling, nail biting vulnerability that one gets when we are at the breaking point of change. Vulnerability. That’s hard. But I strive for it. I sometimes get writer’s block, tongue tied, frustrated as shit when my thoughts are not vulnerable enough or when most everything I create is crap. Yes, it happens, even as I post this right now, I am searching for ways to relay this even more vulnerable than the one sentence before. Do you hear me? “Breath,” I say, “it’s going to be ok.”

Once again I want to say THANK YOU for being you and teaching me what an awesome generation we live in. What a beautiful time period we are alive in, it’s especially awesome when anyone can wake up and post a message of love and solidarity for the whole world to see and allow that message to change just one person’s life.

My purpose in life is to positively affect a billion people while helping them achieve their goals, always knowing it is not me that is going to actually touch the billion, because of social platforms, I may inspire the ONE that creates, loves, designs, lives, discovers, chooses to affect the billion. Hey, if you think that’s crazy? I think it’s worth a shot. If this inspires you please hit the share button for others in your network to be inspired as well. Make it a great day! Keven. #DigitalLegacy

To The Digital Family Tree

“Hey there, you too? I wanted to let you know something…”

It’s never easy.
You know, saying goodbye.
It’s never easy to say goodbye to the single person you loved the most.
The one you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, not the rest of their life with.
It’s never easy to one day say goodbye then wake up the next morning, trying to figure out what to do now.
It’s never easy to keep the smile long enough to make it to the store and back without anyone seeing you cry.
It’s never easy to ask WHY?
Death is one of the most traumatizing things that can happen to us and yet we find the strength to carry on.
Through faith and love and the support of others you…we,…can survive.
The memories that we will all carry on for the rest of life will allow them to live on for eternity.

Pain? Pain comes and goes, never entirely.

A Friend of mine told me: “to play it safe and to be in the middle is the worst place to be.” And I agree.

Just a moment.

ONE DAY the people that surround you will no longer be here. ONE DAY every single one of us will no longer be here. In a flash, we’re all gone. It’s been quoted that “remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. Death Is Very Likely The Best Single Invention Of Life. It Is Life’s Change Agent.”

Knowing your death will ONE DAY happen should be enough to move you into living the best possible life you can.
I’m not just saying being alive I am saying actually LIVING. Being awake, Being authentic, Being present, listening to your intuition, loving others, allowing others to love you, discovering your passion, discovering your purpose, Truly LIVING.

Hey…. no pressure though, as long as you keep moving forward, and you never give up…I mean it NEVER GIVE UP.

After today you will get hit with troubles, you will have your own pains in life, you will sometimes feel like you shouldn’t get your hopes up, but as long as you continue on the path that you started and you can see your goal or vision ahead of you even when there is a fork in the road or it looks like a mirage, you will succeed.

ONE DAY near the end of your life my belief is that you will wake up and get the opportunity to ask yourself “Do I have any regrets?” and your answer will be “NO”. You will be able to say “I lived the best life I could, I tried everything I wanted to try and gave it my all, even when it wasn’t easy, and there are no regrets.”

That is the life I would like you to live. As you go on with the rest of your life, simply remember it is not going to be easy if you live your life for others, but I promise if you live the life you and only you were meant to live then it will be a life worth living.

Remember the wisdom of the ancient Chinese seer who observed: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And it is taking that step today that allows you to master the art of living.

#digitallegacy #digitalfamilytree

Big Idea Fest 2016

Last week I attended “Big Idea Fest 2016” (BIF2016) presented by the team at the Institute for the Study of Knowledge Management in Education (ISKME).  I did not know what to expect but I was eager to find out. After spending 3 days with the group, I can say “if you were not there, you missed out on some beautiful discoveries.” Don’t worry too much though, you have a year before the start of Big Idea Fest 2017!

Between the action collabs, workshops and presentations, it’s really tough to say what the most exciting part was, so I am just going to stick with All of It.  I heard several conversations of how “it was all so exhausting, but absolutely worth it.” I do know tears were shed and lives were transformed. After the first day, I personally walked around with a knot in my stomach that felt very much like high anxiety because of the networking involved, but after some inner-space searching, I realized it was huge feelings of empathy. I submersed myself in the process and was empathetic to the students that were at the event for what they are enduring in school. I was empathetic to the teachers I met for their desire to win the battle for their students. I was empathetic about the amount of work that we have to do, to be the leaders and change agents in a society that is always telling us “WE ARE WRONG.”

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The group reviewing the hard work!

You know in my daily process, I laugh when I have tough conversations with people about school, life, relationships, education, politics, and society as there’s always an after conversation with ourselves that wonders, “Was I too harsh? Did I say the wrong thing? Was I disrespectful?” Then I get the phone call or message from another person concerned about if they stole my passion or desire to keep going. Cue the laughter now, because my response is echoed much like a broken record;

“I appreciate your concern, but hell no you didn’t steal my passion or desire, because this isn’t about us.”

@kevenhempel with @lavendercourage and @misspollock

This doesn’t happen at Big Idea Fest though. The tough conversations are met with respect for each others views, even when they are different. It’s like that old stretch armstrong doll, no matter how hard you pulled his arms or stretched his body, he always went back to his original shape. He was a little stressed here and there… but not broken.

Seriously, it’s about something greater than us. It’s about our children, it’s about our society, it’s about changing the world for generations to come. It’s about changing our world today.

BIF2016 taught me that no matter how lonely I often feel in the world, blazing out a path to a brighter future, there is an army of fighters alongside me. They are my team. They are the trailblazers that when told “NO” smirk and move on to the next person. Then when told “NO” again, like a boxer getting their tooth knocked out from a quick right hook, do it anyways. Yes that is us. We are todays innovators who are not scared, and will not back down to others concerns. Here we go “Knock, Knock, special delivery…..”

Dear Madam/Sir,

Please be aware we will respect your opinion, however if our belief is big enough at the time on what is the right thing to do, we will listen to your concern and do our own thing. Why? because that’s who we are. That’s how change is made. We are big thinkers, the dreamers, the doers. Let me take a moment and remind you of Peter’s Law #20 the creed of the persistent and passionate minded. Law 20 states:  “If you think it is impossible, then it is…..for you.”

Respectfully signed,

The Crazy Ones.

(In regular life we are the outcasts, but at BIF2016 we are normal.)

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Big Ideas Fest 2016 brought hope and comfort for those of us that have felt like the world today is a scary place. (I’ll just leave that right there.) To the rest of the world that was not at this event….be prepared. We have been armed with a new way of thinking. We have been trained over the past couple days on how to be on the offense and not to worry too much about the defense. We have mind melted and been allowed the ability to disconnect from our technology. This has created a wealth of knowledge and ability to allow our big ideas to percolate like a fine brewed coffee.

Soon enough, we will be ready to serve a scolding hot cup of joe to our educational system, we will now be empowering the people with the products we build, we will be empathetically listening and searching for ways to plant other seeds within our broken data driven reports. We will infiltrate our sometimes demeaning and balloon deflating processes and procedures to breakout of the status quo. So be prepared.

To the team at ISKME: THANK YOU for all your hard work. Thank you for your dedication to putting on such a wonderful event. Thank you for the attention that was paid in allowing moments of greatness to be discovered. Most importantly thank you for putting your life on hold for a moment, to allow “our” big ideas to germinate and spread to the rest of the world.

To the universe: The soil has been tended, the seeds have been planted, the water has been poured……next comes the redwood forest of change. See you next year! Peace, love and education, stay positive people.

It’s Time For A Change.

Thank you for being part of this exciting new pilot that HOS is offering to invest in its members’ personal and professional development! We are teaming up with an innovative coaching company, Ama La Vida, to provide you with tools, resources and inspiration to be constantly improving yourself as a professional, entrepreneur and, well, person. The pilot will last 3 months – here’s how it works:
Click here to start your free 3 month trial. Just simply add the membership to your cart and check out. Don’t worry! You can cancel at any time, before or after the 3 months

Get started on improving yourself and your life! Each month Ama La Vida has a theme, and the eCoaching tools and resources support that theme. This month is all about the gift of gratitude. This November tool will help you understand gratitude’s impact on your happiness and well-being, and you will go through a process of identifying and expressing gratitude in your life.

Once you sign up for the membership, start the Gratitude Tool of the Month here (this can also be found at any time in your dashboard on the top right side of the screen once you log in)

You will be paired up with an accountability partner to keep you on track. Sometimes you know what’s good for you (like going to the gym), but you need someone to make sure you do it (like a gym buddy). You and your partner will keep each other accountable for making those changes in your life that you know are good for you.

Make it a great moment!

Why Do We Resist Therapy? Session 2 of 3

It’s been a wild week of work and play. As we speak looking at the 4th quarter of 2016 we are running almost around the clock at 7 days a week. Thanks for taking the time to catch up on our conversation….Enjoy!……….

Keven: When do you get time to educate yourself Teri?

Teri: Ha Ha…I wait until the kids are in school. I feel like with the kids, the weekend goes so fast then it’s Monday! I guess I am learning from others as well. I have time to read websites and article though.

 Keven: Do you use Facebook as a way to educate yourself?

Teri: Yeah. Sometimes. I can read an article or share it. Therapy is one of those services that we have to be entirely open to listening. I can come to the table with everything but that doesn’t mean the things I have will help my client. I sell a service of self-care and a non-judgmental ear to bounce off ideas, throw in opinions or researching about what they’re going through.

 Keven: Connecting the dots?

Teri: Yeah whatever those dots might be. Sometimes we are building what is happening as they are saying it and as we are going through it. We have to get into the elevator shaft with them and figure out how far they can go? Are we going to low with things? We never know really so we have to calibrate that as well. We have to be cautiously aware and always connect with the client and the client has to connect with us as well. You can generally tell if, you pay attention, if the person you are speaking to wants to go there.

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Keven: How much of your clients communication is non-verbal?

Teri: 50% of the room is nonverbal. That is why Skype is hard. I can’t see their body it’s not ideal. Fist quenching or quivering. Sadness comes up as they are saying something but their body is saying some thing else. Like they may not be realizing they just made a fist when they are talking about their parents. That’s important during communication to watch that with others.

Keven: What are your thoughts on ideas and what it can do like a seed? How do you try to leave the client?

Teri: Any minute in the session if we plant an idea or a seed I trust that it is just going to sit there. I usually don’t revisit it unless there is something really fruitful there. They may not be ready for it. The mind is a powerful thing and they will take it where they want it. We always want them to walk away and leave feeling comfortable. Feeling like they are O.K. That is important for anyone to do that even outside of therapy.

We need to make sure we are zipped up so we don’t immediately show the world where we are most vulnerable.

Keven: So what you are saying is, we have our normal lives, we do our normal things but yet when there are clients that go see a therapist it’s important for them to “zip up” and have some closure?

Teri: Yeah it’s important whether it’s in therapy or not. Like if you are having a fight with your significant other and then you have to “zip it up” to go get the kids from school, it’s the same thing. We have to learn how to not be in denial, not forget about it, but know that we can hold that somewhere and still keep doing life.

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Keven: Without there being closure to it?

Teri: Yeah! Right! Then come back to it. So it’s not sweeping it under the rug, it’s not saying “oh we forgot about that.” If that is happening then someone has to be the one that pulls this back out and says “Hey we need to get some closure here, lets talk.”

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you found it fruitful. Stay Tuned for Sessions 3 of 3 in the coming weeks, where we get into the discussion about Social Platforms and Technology.

To contact me go to www.hosbusinesscenter.com and click the contact page

 To contact Teri Sorkin M.A. MFT for a trial session go to http://terisorkin.com

Time Is Money

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After waiting a little too long earlier in the day at my normal haircut spot I left with no hard feelings. As we were getting in the car my daughter asked me why we were leaving with out my haircut? I thought to myself for a second “I could make up a story or just tell her the truth, so I told her the truth. “Well sweetheart, we waited a little too long and even though daddy needs a cut, time is money so we have to go.”

Fast forward to later in the evening after a glass of Cab (maybe two) with dinner I sat down and scratched my head realizing “I still needed a haircut.” What to do? Then the flash of brilliance entered my mind…why don’t I go to the new Livermore Barber Shop where they say “Mens Grooming Perfected.” So I looked up the website on Facebook and within minutes I had an appointment the next day to get my haircut. Keeping the hawk of course! I arrived at 11:45 am and walked right in to be treated with the light sound of reggae fresh sounds of shavers and a big HELLO!

“Hey man welcome, you have an appointment?”
“Yeah it’s Keven for 11:45.”
“Cool you’re with Jay come over here and take a seat!”
“I’m Jay. Nice to meet you!”
And the experience began……

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From the moment we walked in the door it was awesome. The energy felt good, the seats felts good, the conversation was great, the warm towel laid on my face was legit and one of the best parts? There is complimentary beer from Altamont Beer Works of course. The perfect match. It’s been discussed for years by men all over the country and yet no one has done it in Livermore. Well my friends it was time. To merge beer and haircuts with the experience all in one. SMART. The cost for the cut was good, as these guys and one gal are “barbers.” And they are happy to explain the difference. We had some conversation about old school and keeping it real and fresh.

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The shop is small so the owner Mr. Fahnhorst who mans the register was able to converse with us all at the same time. It reminded me of when I was around 5 years old and I used to go with my grandpa to the barber shop in Union City CA where the guys smoked cigarettes and cigars and the barbers were OG’s who loved their job. This was it. They figured out the experience and brought it to Livermore. If you haven’t tried it, do it. If you have I would love to hear your experience as well! To the team at the Livermore Barber Shop: Great job! Keep doing what you do. Success is in how you treat your clientele with the experience that you give them and you my friends are doing it right!

Check out this video of the inside of the shop! Instagram Video Of The Shop

Moonshot Thinking

Moonshot Thinking with your life………. What is it that you want to do that you haven’t yet? Why haven’t you done it? Fear? Procrastination? No time? Don’t know where to start? ….don’t want to be wrong?..pick your poison…..I call it poison because each reason that prevents you from doing what you really want to do in life or what you must do in life…..is exactly that….poison…it kills your dreams and goals….it keeps you stagnant …..and mind trapped…….

I want you to face your fears….reach for your goals and create them…..this life and all its awesomeness……has very little care about your idea and what you want…..however I believe you can force it to listen…..you can force it to pay attention….and you can force it to….say….”Where the heck did this person come from?”

That to me is awesome and inspiring…

With one of our goals we have been executing a ton on this process of moonshot thinking…..at first it scared the crap out of us…but now that we are fully encompassed in it…….our goals keep getting bigger and bigger….and a big secret……we actually are achieving them…..it’s weird…..did you know when you set a goal….plan the attack, start taking steps toward the goal…..you actually get somewhere?

That’s called execution…..

Crazy right? We know…..we think it’s insane too! Here’s some food for thought…….you have a goal or dream of doing something in your lifetime that can change things, move something and assist a large amount of other people in this world…….today you have the opportunity to watch Netflix all day…..or……..start your moonshot………well……..which is it? ‪#‎youbetterbeliving‬ ‪#‎hosbusinesscenter‬ ‪#‎electrifytheyoung‬ ‪#‎ideatolaunchin366days‬ ‪#‎moonshot‬

Check us out at:

HOS Business Center for Women and Children Entrepreneurs

Keven Hempel To see what i’m about

True North Services Inc for business growth and operations

 

Heres a video below for some inspiration….

We have come to the end of 2015

 

So we’ve come to the end of another year but not the end of our time. Where have all the days of 2015 gone? We met some new great people, we lost some great friends and family members but none of them will ever be forgotten. We wake up every day to a whole new world of possibility and potential…we just have to reach within ourselves to act upon it.

It’s OK to dream big.

 

We loved, we laughed and we cried…some tears of joy, others tears of sorrow. All in all it was a good year. A healthy year, a year to reflect amongst the decades ahead, where there are shiny glimmers of hope and growth for our families and village.

Don’t be afraid to take risks.

We’re excited to venture on into 2016 and sometimes feel as if we are carrying the weight of 100-soldier army preparing us for battle with our futures wars. But we are strong…not because we stand-alone, but because we stand tall with the support and love of our village.

 

There are really no words to explain how much we love and care for those around us and we can’t even possibly attempt the process. The only thing we can say is THANK YOU. Thank you for being so awesome. Thank you for showing us how to live. Thank you for supporting our family through all of life’s events and Thank you for allowing us to be part of your family and village as well.

 

Cheers to 2015 and a huge bottoms up to 2016 and the amazing beautiful days ahead. We couldn’t ask for anything more than what we have right now.

Love The Hempels.

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Solar Won’t Let Photosynthesis Occur?

Before we turn solar away lets really think about what happens without it.
Before we turn solar away lets really think about what happens without it.

Where technology meets real life decision making is sometimes a scary place. Backed by closed minds, fearful people and a society with trust issues.  Time to pick up some more books and read…..keep the charge that we can do something before it’s too late.

Yes this apparently really did happen and the crazy thing is, I hear a version of this more often than not during my day to day adventures with clients. Click this link to read more 👉🏻you don’t have to go far to hear this.